red clay ponderings

Hmmm… what shall I ponder on today?

I Remember, I Remember When…

That was the day I took the first step towards taking my life back.✨

This post comes up in my social media memories every year. And every year, I’m thankful.

Watching the #gabbypetito video where she’s so distraught brought back many emotions. I knew what was wrong with her the first time I watched.

I recognized Brian Laundrie’s behavior for what it was. His dismissal of her. His blaming her. His charming of law enforcement. His “she’s crazy” comments.

All of it felt like a rerun of my story.

I recognized Gabby’s feeling of hopelessness, and the struggle of wanting help, but not wanting to get the person whom you care about in trouble. She took the brunt of the blame and withheld the truth. And I knew where she was at in her head.

It’s a crazy mixed up place to be. At the time, you know you aren’t helping yourself, but you think you are helping the other person. You just don’t know what to do or how to walk away.

And then one day, you’ve had enough. Someone says, “you don’t have to do this anymore mom.”

And you find strength and courage in their resolve.

Similar words had been spoken by another child, years earlier. But they were very young. Wiser than me. Though I didn’t know it at the time.

My advice:

The formula for regaining your life when you are in a pit is simple:

Listen to the people who won’t steer you wrong. No matter how young or old. Hear them and take action.

Don’t listen to the one who hurts you.

It’s that simple.

The work is difficult and the road may be long, but you can do it. #walkaway

Happy Birthday 1989

Reflections, September 24, 2021

On this night 32 years ago, with great anticipation, I was preparing to meet a wonderful man. He didn’t arrive until the next day, a week later than expected. It’s odd to me now, that he was late for our first meeting. Because he has been on time or early, for all things, ever since.

When we first met, he wasn’t wearing a stitch of clothing. He was almost bald and weighed 10.5 lbs; his face was red and bruised and he was physically exhausted from several hours of hard work….

I fell in love with him instantly.

Happy Birthday (9/25) to my biggest encourager.


(I’ve shared the message below on a previous birthday post, but it’s who Garrett is, and worthy of repeating.)

✨ On this morning in 1989, I sat in Atlanta traffic as the tail end of Hurricane Hugo whipped wind and rain around our car. It was a Monday. And I was about to become mommy to a baby boy.

Sitting snug and secure behind me, singing a song about rain, 22 month old Lindsey was happy about the event unfolding around her; she would soon become a big sister. She and I had no idea that our biggest supporter and most fierce protector was on his way. Our lives were moments away from receiving the gift of love, laughter and adventure. Stories and antics that are woven into my life like a vibrant tapestry, had not happened yet. And I can’t even imagine my life any other way, not now.

*Photo courtesy of Cindy Harter Photography
*Photo courtesy of Cindy Harter Photography

Happy Birthday Garrett! ❤️

Go Out Fighting

Do you know what this picture is about?

On August 23, 1989, one month and two days before my second child was born, 2 million people from Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania formed a human chain that united all 3 countries… their purpose was to show the world their desire to escape the communism that had brought only suffering and poverty to their countries.

This powerful human chain stretched 373 miles.

Two years before this event… 8 months before my daughter was born, I watched President Reagan demand:
“Mr. Gorbachev, Tear down this wall!”

I sat in my home in the USA and watched these events unfold on my TV screen, on the nightly news. I sat on my sofa in my free country, thankful that my children would be born and live in the USA.
I sat there knowing my friends and neighbors would fight to their deaths to preserve our Constitution and our freedom.

I never imagined what would be coming down twenty years later. That in 2008 we would elect a man who hated America. Or that 12 years later, that man’s demented vp would be placed in the White House through a stolen election.

Our younger Americans don’t know…and many of our older Americans have forgotten… about the struggle and incredible strength of impoverished people fighting to be free from dictators and tyranny. Their fight has been too easily erased from books and memory.

Americans who have never known oppression, claim to be oppressed. Politicians with greedy plans push the false narrative. They have convinced some foolish Americans that we are not free. And the deceived are following each other like lost sheep on a steep, slippery slope, sliding into a miry pit. They hope to drag the rest of the country into the pit with them.

I will fight their ignorance by speaking out against their vile plan.
Freedom is worth fighting for. It is worth saving.
I want future generations to know that I did not give their freedom away.
The USA isn’t perfect. But for now, we are free to live imperfectly, without fear. 🇺🇸

Respect the Brave🇺🇸

The next time a childish, selfish, ungrateful grown man playing a boy’s game kneels in disrespectful, arrogant, self-possessed-importance against the #NationalAnthem , I hope you remember who he’s kneeling on.

🇺🇸Max Soviak, Corpsmen (20 years old)
🇺🇸Kareem Nikoui, Marine (22 years old)
🇺🇸David Lee Espinoza, Marine (20 years old)
🇺🇸Rylee McCollum, Marine (20 years old)
🇺🇸Jared Schmitz, Marine (20 years old)
🇺🇸Hunter Lopez, Marine (22 years old)
🇺🇸Taylor Hoover, Marine (31 years old)
🇺🇸Daegan William-Tyeler Page (23 years old)
🇺🇸Ricky Thompson, Marine (21 years old)
🇺🇸Humberto Sanchez, Marine (22 years old)
🇺🇸Johanny Rosario, Marine (25 years old)
🇺🇸Ryan Knauss, Army(23 years old)
🇺🇸Nicole Gee, Marine (23 years old)


obiden’s Reckless Presidency

president obiden is an inveterate liar.

He and he alone is responsible for the deaths of 14 American Military men and women. And the injury of many others.

Yet obiden and the kookookala team blame President Trump for their deadly withdrawal from Afghanistan.

Like all Narcissists, they redirect blame and conjure up their own version of facts.

This is on you joe. It’s all on you.

And the cackling kookookala.

From President Trump’s Chief of Staff for the Department of Defense and Assistant to the President on Conter Terrorism, here is how it was supposed to go down:

“We handed our entire plan to the incoming Biden administration during the lengthy transition. The new team simply wasn’t interested,” writes Kash Patel, a Pentagon official under former President Trump.

President Joe Biden has sought to place blame for the shocking dénouement in Afghanistan on the situation he “inherited” from the Trump administration. What a sad-sack attempt at blame-shifting. Team Trump’s withdrawal plan was sound. What proved catastrophic were Biden’s changes to that plan.

I’m intimately familiar with former President Donald Trump’s Afghanistan strategy. In November 2020, I was named chief of staff at the Pentagon, where one of my primary responsibilities was to wind down the forever war in Afghanistan.”

Trump instructed me to arrange a conditions-based, methodical exit plan that would preserve the national interest.

The plan ended up being fairly simple: The Afghan government and the Taliban were both told they would face the full force of the US military if they caused any harm to Americans or American interests in Afghanistan.

Next, both parties would negotiate to create an interim-joint government, and both sides had to repudiate al Qaeda. Lastly, a small special-operations force would be stationed in the country to take direct action against any terrorist threats that arose.

When all those conditions were met — along with other cascading conditions — then a withdrawal could, and did, begin.

We successfully executed this plan until Jan. 20, 2021. During this interval — when there were no US casualties in Afghanistan — President Ashraf Ghani and the Taliban conducted multiple rounds of negotiations, and al Qaeda was sidelined. The result was a successful drawdown of US forces in Afghanistan to 2,500, the lowest count since the dawn of the War on Terror.

We handed our entire plan to the incoming Biden administration during the lengthy transition. The new team simply wasn’t interested.

Everything changed when the new commander in chief declared that US forces would leave Afghanistan by Sept. 11, 2021, pushing back the Trump administration’s timetable by four months.

Crucially, he didn’t condition the withdrawal on continued adherence to the agreed-upon stipulations. It would be an unconditional pullout with an arbitrary date based on pure symbolism — and set in stone.

At that point, the Taliban sat back and waited for the date to draw near, then launched a countrywide offensive, knowing they had no reason to fear any reprisals from this administration. The ongoing chaos — not least the stranding of US personnel and allies — was the natural result of the Biden administration’s decision to eschew a conditions-based plan.

With an unmovable withdrawal date in place, Team Biden showed no appreciation for ground-level intelligence reporting, which was largely rendered irrelevant. Just this week, Biden’s national security adviser, Jake Sullivan, claimed the security situation in Afghanistan “unfolded at unexpected speed.”

That is a shocking statement to hear from one of our nation’s most senior national-security officials. No one should have been the slightest bit surprised that when relieved of any conditions or obligations, the Taliban could and would overrun the whole country in the absence of US military power.

Tragically, because of the Biden administration’s single-minded focus on the pullout date, hard-nosed intelligence was replaced with wishful thinking and false promises. In April, Secretary of State Antony Blinken vowed, “We will withdraw our troops responsibly, deliberately, safely. . . . We’ll pursue a durable and just political settlement between the government of Afghanistan and the Taliban.”

None of that happened. Last month Blinken assured us that Biden’s withdrawal plan wouldn’t endanger the US embassy in Kabul, which is now evacuated. And Biden himself declared last month that it was “highly unlikely” the Taliban would overrun Afghanistan, which they have now done with blinding speed.

Amid this cheap political rhetoric, ignorance of the ground-level security situation and the lack of a conditions-based plan, Afghanistan has fallen. America and the world deserve much better from those privileged to serve in high office. We are witnessing the utter collapse of a government — and not just in Afghanistan.”

ARTICLE from The NY Post
Kash Patel served as chief of staff for the Department of Defense and as deputy assistant to the president for counterterrorism in the Trump administration.

Home Is Where the Heart Is

It’s not my intention to be morbid, but life has me thinking about its ending.
And those thoughts led me to think about something that has always bewildered me.

Flowers for the dead. Expensive flowers.
Big meals brought to the funeral home.
Expensive suits and fancy shoes purchased to wear for our visitation with the deceased.
We stand over them and declare how beautiful/handsome/good they look.
We tell their survivors how much their loved one meant to us.
We promise to make a donation to a charity in their memory.

But what good are flowers for the dead? They aren’t even here to enjoy them. What if we send flowers to the old, the lonely, the sick, the living…while they’re still living, still aware? While they’re still able to enjoy our company? And we, theirs?

Instead of donating money in their memory for “research” … after their death, why not pay one of their bills while they are living? What if they are struggling to survive financially, as well as physically? Maybe they have tough choices we know nothing of. What if behind the walls of their home or apartment, they have to choose between buying food or keeping the lights on…because their illness keeps them from working? What would dropping by with some groceries do for them?
I tell you…that kind of love gift provides days and days of peace. And offers a reprieve from one or two worries.
(*I’m not against donating to charities and research.)

What if we take a friend a meal while they can still eat?
Or send them a new pair of shoes? Some flowers from our yard?
And tell them how much they mean to us?

I’m guilty of not expressing gratitude as often and as well as I should.
I think in thoughts of gratitude, but I don’t adequately express it to the ones who need to hear it.

“They know I’m thankful.”
“They know I care.”
“I don’t won’t to bother them.”
“I’ll call them next week.”
These are the things I tell myself.
One day, next week won’t come. Either for them or for me. Or for you.

You’ve heard the saying, “home is where the heart is.”
For me, that translates:
Wherever the people I love are…that’s home. And wherever I am, the people I love are with me. And that’s home.

For some of us…the people we love are old. And lonely. Maybe frightened.
“Home is where the heart is.”
And their hearts are homesick. For you.
So maybe today is the day to show gratitude.

I Met a Man Today

I met a man today.

I’ve known of him, or someone similar, my whole life.

But he had never known of me, he said.

He was amazed to know that I had two children, a girl and a boy.

Just like his daughter.

But his daughter’s children were small, maybe 3 snd 1, he said.

“But I can’t remember their names.”

He looked down and moved his head from side to side,

Tears welling in his eyes,

“I haven’t seen my daughter in a long time, though.

She’s very ill.

She’s in bad shape.

Losing weight rapidly.

Something is making her very sick, but doctors can’t figure it out.

I need to get in touch with her, but I don’t know how.”

He had gone back in time to 1990.

He cried a bit when I told him I was certain his daughter loved him, and would find him, if only she could.

He nodded his head,

“I know she would.”

He told me about his parents,

“I don’t understand why they don’t come get me,” he said.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him they had died in 1981.

So instead I said, “maybe they’re visiting the Smokies.

They love the Smokies so much.”

We talked about his mother’s roses, her green thumb.

“I’ve always taken care of my lawn, and looked after my wife’s flowers.

She loves them like my mama does.”

A bewildered expression covered his face,

“Something’s wrong, and I can’t figure it out.”

We talked about his siblings,

“I haven’t seen them in a long time. My brother is in the hospital and I need to go see him.

But they’ve moved the hospital.

Do you know my sister, Tutta?

Do you have her phone number?

She will know where everyone is.

I can’t find anyone in my family. I never dreamed they would all forget me like this.”

How could I tell him that all but one of his siblings were already gone?

I couldn’t.

So I let the moment pass.

Then a moment of clarity….

“Who said this?

‘Deeta, don’t go out there where’s Thomas?’”

I laughed, for the millionth time, at the same question.

“That was my brother, talking to me on the beach, in 1967.

He was three years old,” I said.

A smile, a nod.

“ I don’t know where my wife is,”

he said…as she looked on.

I offered,

“Maybe she’s at the store?”

“No, she’s been gone a long time.

But I believe she’ll come back.”

He began to seem nervous,


He kept looking at his watch.

It was three o’clock.

“It’s getting late,

I need to go.”

His wife, my mom… the woman he doesn’t recognize, said to him,

“Ok, we’ll go.”

He smiled, eager to leave.

Then he stopped at my kitchen door,

turned and looked back at me,

“Bye, Deeta”

“Bye Daddy”

Danita Clark Able

Someone I Care About

Friends, strangers, anyone… I need your help.

My friend is in danger. I need your advice. What would you do if you had a friend in this situation? How can I help her?

Someone I love and care about is being abused. And she doesn’t realize it. She refuses to acknowledge that her abuser is destroying her. She’s convinced her abuser has her best interest in mind. Because that’s what he tells her.

He won’t let her visit friends or family. He has made her stop all contact with them unless it’s on the phone or computer. Even then, he listens to her conversations and reads her messages.

He reads and censors her comments on social media.

He makes her feel like she’s going crazy if she questions him. He tells her someone else is feeding her lies and are trying to make her believe he’s controlling her. He insinuates that she is being ungrateful. He says he’s doing this because of how much he cares about her.

He doesn’t want her going to the gym anymore, so she doesn’t go. He also doesn’t want her to work anymore. He’s assured her she can rely on him for income and anything else she needs. He tells her he will take care of her. She just needs to believe him and do what he tells her to do.

She’s not really allowed to go anywhere anymore, unless it’s for absolute necessities. When she does venture out, he makes sure to guilt her and shame her for it. He is a prominent man. And to most people, he seems to be a stable man. He’s respected by many, so people accept his word as the gospel truth. But those of us who have looked past his charade, know better. We know what he’s capable of.

Another thing… he surrounds himself with friends who support his crazy, narcissistic behavior. And so they shame her, too. These are the only voices she listens to anymore, because they “care about her.” She no longer cares about my opinion. She disregards my concerns for her and tells me I’m overreacting. I’ve known her my whole life, and I can’t stop her from allowing this man to wreck her. She doesn’t see what I see.

She has become a shell of herself.

He wants her to have this medical procedure done and tells her that if she does it, he will allow her more freedoms. What a pompous jackass.

He constantly says he’s only doing all of this because he cares… he is just doing it for her own good.

They have kids. He’s dictating and controlling them even more harshly than he is treating her. I’ve seen it firsthand. They are terrified of going against anything he says. He’s convinced them they will die if they dare disobey him. He’s convinced them their mom will die if she disobeys him. So they become very anxious and panicked, if she appears to sidestep his demands. They are children, living in fear.

Do you think I’m talking about my friend’s husband?

I’m not. I’m talking about #Fauci, #Pelosi, #Biden and #Harris. I’m talking about my friend’s government. Your government.

We have been conditioned to be outraged (rightfully so) if another person treats their spouse this way. And now we’re being programmed to be passive and compliant when it comes to our personal beliefs and our freedom

Our government is abusing us.

Wake up America. Let Freedom Ring, loudly.

Danita 🇺🇸

*I took some of this content from a post being shared on social media.

Americans Recoil in Horror


A beautiful word, yet a fickle concept when the pious Left is talking.

The pettiness of jealousy and the ignorance of hatred is on full display on this beautiful August day. And the ruckus we’re hearing, coming from rooms on the left, is all about a rose.

A rose called Melania.

If there is one person more hated than President Trump, it’s his wife, Melania.

There is nothing either of them can do to please the pious left.

In recent weeks, Melania has transformed the Rose Garden to its understated elegance of 1962, when Jackie lived in the White House. Our beautiful First Lady chose to enhance the garden’s landscape with the John F. Kennedy Rose… a pure white rose with evergreen leaves. A nod of honor to the memory and sacrifice of a young, Democrat President.

But the left is furious. Outraged.

Their bullish comments and put-on indignation are a testimony to an irrational mindset. Evidence of historical ignorance.

Some are so lost in a sea of dense foolishness, that they have stooped to a new low. Posting claims that the fragrant, pure white JFK rose is proof… proof of Melania’s affirmation of white power.

The insanity created by hate is widespread and blatant:

“Americans recoil in horror!”

“She ripped up the cherry trees that have been in the Rose Garden for a century!”

Crabapple Trees, not Cherry Trees.

And they were not ripped up, but were instead dug up to be replanted on the White House grounds.

“She chopped down the Dogwood Trees that Jackie planted in honor of her late husband!”

Jackie moved out of the White House two weeks after her husband was murdered. Maybe she spent those 14 days planting trees in the Rose Garden?

I love the fresh look of Melania’s Rose Garden renovation. It’s been renovated or changed by several First Ladies over the years.

Each did a respectable job in honoring tradition while adding a touch of their own style to the iconic garden.

Melania’s touch of class and elegance is beautifully on display in her 2020 renovation. A tribute of timeless grace to tradition and patriotism.

Dear First Lady, Melania Trump,

Thank you for respecting tradition, and representing our country so graciously. You are an exemplary example of the American Dream. A legal immigrant to this great country, who finds herself married to the President of the United States, living in the White House. Your story is a fairytale the left would love, if only your husband had a D next to his political affiliation. And if his name was anything other than Trump.

Mrs. Trump, I’m looking forward to hearing you speak from the Rose Garden during the Convention this week.

With respect and admiration,

Danita Clark Able

John Kennedy, JR …in his mother’s Rose Garden

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